What the hell am I talking about? Simple thing – if someone decided to write your biography, an article in the news or a movie about your life, how would you feel about it?
Most answers will include:
- Shit, no, that´d be just embarrassing.
- Erm… it´d be very short and boring.
- Hm, why not, I´d be happy with that.
- Hellyeah! That movie/article would blow people´s socks off!
- No! Too much bad shit, people can´t know that! I´d be locked up.
If you answered 3 or 4, great. If not, keep reading.
Why wouldn´t you be happy about a movie about yourself? Most of us will think – I´m not doing anything special in my life, not rescuing orphans of the world, or skydiving into a massive cave, I´m not a rock star with an extravagant life or I didn´t win a nobel prize. But there´s a twist to it.
It´s not about that. It´s not about doing shocking things. Sure, if you win a nobel prize, well done, but for most of us, life isn´t about that.
But there´s still something that would make our movie interesting and we´d be proud of it. And it is knowing and living our life values. Because a fulfilled, happy life of someone living their values and dreams never is boring.
What do I mean by values? It´s very subjective. Anything that makes your day a fulfilling one, that makes you feel, like you achieved something great if you do it, after which you lie down at night feeling happy and fulfilled.
Some want to travel the world, help animals and learn (wonder who´s that?), some want to provide for their family, some want a shit hot career to be proud of and some want to be champions at more quirky things.
What is important, is knowing your values first, then living them.
Do you know your values? Do you do the things you do every day, because there´s a direction, a mission behind them, or a goal you´re working towards, something that´s driving you to live your life the way you want it?
Or are you not sure about your values and are living from day to day, without a clear direction?
Did you choose the things you do (work, chores, activities), or do you do them, because that´s expected of you?
If you know and live your values, great. You don´t need to read any further, you´re living the life you want :).
But if you´re not sure about your values, nothing is lost. Start now. Today, this minute, when you finish reading this. You left it long enough, now kick your ass to it.
All you need to do is take a quiet moment, turn the TV, radio, kids and any other distractions off (don´t take me literally on the kids bit…., send them out or something :D).
Take a piece of paper and a pen.
- Am I happy with my life?
- If I could change one thing, what would that be?
- If I had unlimited resources, what would I do with my life?
- If someone wrote my biography, what would I want it to look like?
- What was my childhood, teenage dream?
- What really makes me happy and feeling fulfilled?
- How would a perfect day look like for me? Am I living it?
Take as much time as you need – poke around your head for the long forgotten dreams, take a break and then think about it again. This can take a day, or weeks, it´s up to you. Better take more time than rush it.
Don´t get distracted by short term escapes like “my perfect day would be lying on the beach all day”. Ok, but try doing that for the rest of your life. Give it a week and you´ll be bored shitless. Think deeper, about long lasting happiness and fulfillment. Elaborate – why the beach? Maybe you like water. Wanted to be a lifeguard? (haha, cheese. The US flags everywhere nail it.) But back to serious stuff….
Come up with a short list of things that really matter to you – your values. 5 is a nice number, but whatever works for you.
Here´s my list for inspiration:
- be myself, don´t comply with the dogmas and rules of society, religions, politics that I don´t agree with. Don´t pretend or lie just to fit in. Live a life the way I want, not how I´m expected to live.
- care about people who are important to me, care about animals and our environment, leave the world a better place than I found it. Care about myself, live a healthy life.
- learn, expand, challenge and better my view of the world, people, things, expand my horizon. Challenge my ideas, learn languages, about cultures and religions. Always strive for more knowledge, never stop learning.
- push my limits, put myself out of my comfort zone
- be self-sufficient, work for myself, use my skills and creativity to life the life I´ve chosen
Knowing your values, your life decisions will be much easier to do. Not sure whether to take that promotion, have more stress and more money, or reject it and have more time for your family? If one of your top values is career or money, you know the answer. If your top value is family, you know the answer too.
This is like an agenda of your life – everything else evolves around it. And because it´s the agenda YOU put together and want, living according to it will fill your days with happiness and feeling of satisfaction, fulfillment.
And remember, you don´t have to re-invent your life, drop everything and start a new (you can, but don´t have to). It´s about being true to your values, not letting things drop.If we live a life according to our values and stick to them, we´re living an honest, fulfilled life. We´d be proud of any movie about it, we wouldn´t feel shame, embarrassment or that there´s not much to write about.
So how would your biography look like? And would you be proud reading it?