Mr Nice Guy

One for men, although could be interesting for you girls too.

During my travels in Thailand, I had more time to think about myself, things I like, my strengths, flaws etc. I´m going to focus on one specific flaw or personality feature that I don´t like about myself.

It´s Mr Nice Guy attitude. You know, when you interact with women, you can talk all kinda shit, they love you for that, but when it comes down to more intimate stuff, you´re suddenly shy, your head gives you plenty of excuses not to do or say certain thing. “There´ll be a better moment” is usually the easy excuse.

So that´s me. I always had many female friends and got on with them very good, I can easily talk to any woman about all kinda shit, or to put it otherwise, being nice, but I´m rubbish at showing my feelings or interest in her. Alcohol usually helps, but that´s bad, don´t want to rely on alcohol to express my feelings.

I´m going to work on this under the Challenge section of my blog, well, I already started some time ago and think I´m making good progress, but there´s still more to do.

Of course, I´m not aiming to become a macho and flirt with every female that happens to come my way. But I want to be more comfortable with expressing my feelings to women (whether it´s telling them I find them attractive, I like them etc or expressing my sexual attraction, flirting and hm…getting to taste South America from a different perspective, you know…). 

There´s a lot of good material about it out there, books, posts like the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy section in this post from postmasculine.com or Niall Doherty´s great life experiment in Amsterdam.

Hey, first step done, publicly admitting and committing to work on it 🙂

What´s next?

I need to challenge myself. Maybe use the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach, maybe jump right in there using Niall´s approach, the approach isn´t as important as actually doing it. Doing what? Flirting with women, talking to random women on the street I like and telling them I like them, getting pictures taken with them, taking them for a coffee, expressing my feelings.

No need to educate myself about how to do this, I know enough stuff, the trouble is, I don´t apply it in my life. Time to change that.

Updates on that in the Challenge section next month chaps.

Any folks out there with an opinion to share? Comments are all yours.

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2 thoughts on “Mr Nice Guy

  1. You know…women have the ability to spot a fake a mile away and usually respond better to a man who is confident and more willing to share his feelings as this is an indication of trust. And my thing is, if someone responds unfavourably to your emotions, then you’re clearly choosing from a ‘lower grade’ and deserve better.

    Usually when I find myself in a position where I feel inferior (shy) I’d think to myself…’Hey, you’re in MY movie! I put you here and I’m the star, dammit! You’re just one of the cast!’ It does wonders for my ego and immediately takes the individual off his/her pedastal…that I subconciously put him/her on.

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